Golf
by Exotos135
Summary: Isn't it relaxing?


It was another typical day at the Loud House, and if you couldn't tell by the name, it was pretty dang loud.

The twins Lola and Lana fought yet again for some trivial matter, Luna played her rock music while Luan cracked bad puns, Lisa made her experiments while Lily-too innocent to know any better-laughed at them, Lynn tried to play a made-up sport she made with Lucy...with mixed results, and Leni tried to figure out what was the hot stuff in summer fashion.

The only Louds not amongst the madness were Linc, who was reading comics in his bedroom, and Lori, who sat at the couch while messaging her boyfriend.

"Another day, another potential loss of hearing," she said while writing the exact same thing. "Sometimes I wonder if I should go out and take a break from all the loudness happening with my family."

But eventually, she felt something nearby. Her laundry senses were tingling. "Laundry's done, I'll go get it," she said... before writing just that.

So the teen girl went to the washer, took out the laundry and put it on a basket before taking it outside...or at least, she tried to take it outside, but the madness soon spread to her level: the twins' fought all over the floor, making it harder for Lori to move. "Hey, fight somewhere else!" she demanded.

And then, Lynn's football hit her in the head. As if that wasn't enough, an explosion coming from Lily and Lisa's bedroom startled her hard enough to make her drop the basket, though she managed to grab everything before it hit the floor.

Looking left and right for anything else, Lori moved forward to the backyard... and stepped on Cliff's tail in the process, making him panic and slash all over her face. By the time she managed to set up the laundry to dry, Lori was exhausted and had scratches all over her face.

"I need to take a break," the teenager said as she rubbed her forehead.

And then, she got an idea. She packed some stuff, wrote something and left something at the fridge before leaving the house. The message she left was simple:

Dear everybody, I left to play some golf at the park.

XOXO, Lori.

 _-Meanwhile, at the park-_

The blonde put on a cap and took a look around at the golfing course. Surprisingly enough, there weren't many people around the Royal Woods park, so she could play without much scandal going on around her.

"Golf," she said as she set up to play the first hole. "A nice, relaxing little past-time. Just what I needed."

After setting the ball, Lori grabbed a golf club at random and got ready to hit the ball. Utmost concentration was required by her side to make sure she could one-shot the hole, and once she was in complete concentration, she swung her golf club and watched for the ball...

But it wasn't going down. Not did it seem to be anywhere at all.

That is until she looked down, where she saw the ball was still in place.

Lori got a grim reminder that day: complete concentration doesn't equal perfect aiming.

So she swung the club again and, successfully hitting the ball this time, she watched as the golf ball went towards the hole... then missed it by a couple of inches. The teenager went to the ball, swung again... and the thing missed the hole once more.

"So, this is how you're going to play, ball?" Lori said, cracking her knuckles. "Well then, let me adjust my strategy!"

 _-Back at the Loud House-_

In the midst of all the chaos, Linc got out of his room and-feeling like something was missing-started to look around. His search started with the first floor, where he soon saw the source of his uneasiness when he couldn't find Lori anywhere.

So he went back upstairs and asked, "Has anybody seen Lori?"

Seeing as he was talking to the Loud madness, he wasn't really heard.

So he yelled, "Has anybody seen Lori!"

This caught his sisters' attention and made the madness just... stop. And with that done, the boy went from sisters to sisters asking, "Have you seen Lori?"

First were the twins Lola and Lana, who shook their heads before fighting once more.

Then Lisa and Lily, the latter who just laughed while the former shrugged.

Then Lynn and Lucy, the former who shrugged and got ready to throw another football, only for the latter to intercept it and throw it back at her as she flatly answered, "No."

Then Luan and Luna, who shrugged as well.

And finally Leni, who simply asked back, "Did you check the fridge? Maybe she left something there?"

So he looked again and found Lori's note. One reading later, he showed it to the rest of his sisters and they grew confused.

"What's golf?" Lynn asked.

"It sounds like a game of sorts," Lisa said. "Now, what exactly it is, that I can't say."

"Should we go see how she's doing?" Linc asked.

The sisters exchanged looks of contemplation...

 _-Back with Lori-_

The teenager finally got the ball to enter the hole and so quickly went to the next one. Forget properly celebrating her victory, she only got one hole out of eighteen.

She set up her stuff once more and got ready to swing. 1, 2, and at 3, she swung as hard as she could and she watched as the ball went up... and flew all over the park and onto the city. Oops.

"Huh, I got a stronger arm than I thought," she nonchalantly remarked.

"Lori!"

The sudden call sent a shiver up the teenager's spine, and once she turned around, she saw it was her worst fear: her sisters, and Lincoln, coming to play golf with her. At least, they looked like such.

"Hi Lori," Linc greeted as he approached the teenager. "I hope you don't mind the fact that I brought the rest of our sisters along."

"I most definitely do mind," Lori answered, smacking her fist against her hand. Then she counted sisters, and found a couple of them missing. "Where are Lana, Lola, Lucy, Lisa, and Lily?"

"They stayed back home," Linc answered.

Back at the Loud house, Lucy was wearing a helmet that analyzed her thoughts while Lisa watched a black image contort into a vampire in a machine. Lily just stood there and watched while the twins looked at the machine in bewilderment.

"Is it weird that I still prefer this to sleeping with Lynn?" Lucy asked, earning a shrug from the little genius.

And back at the park, Lori was still mad at Linc. "Why did you bring them along? I came here to relax and stay away from their madness!"

Linc swallowed his fears. "I didn't find you anywhere, and I thought-"

"Tell them to return, I don't want them around here," Lori returned to the game and tried to continue like nothing had happened. "All they'll do, with or without your help, is destroy the only time I can feel relaxed."

And then Lynn approached the teenager. "So, what's this golf business about?" she asked, scratching her chin.

"You put a ball in the ground, you swing the golf club and hope the balls lands in the hole. If it doesn't, you must go where it went and swing again, rinse and repeat," Lori shook her head after giving the explanation. "You probably don't even care enough to remember those rules."

"How about we kick it instead?"

Lynn kicked the ball and this somehow managed to be more than enough to send the ball straight to the hole. "Goooaaal!" the sports fan shouted, raising her hands in the air. "Wait, that's what soccer players shout when they score, what do golf players shout when they reach the hole?"

"Fool!" Lori hissed before snapping her golf club with her knees.

"Sounds unorthodox, but okay," Lynn raised her arms once more and yelled "Foooool!"

 _-3rd Hole-_

Lori spoke with her siblings, who all sat on the same bench. By this point, Lori's left eye was twitching.

"Okay, now I want to make something clear: I came here to relax and take a breather from the madness at our house, not to have my nerves shoot through the freaking roof!" Lori snarled. "So, all I ask out of you, is that you refrain from destroying this place!"

The siblings nodded, except for Leni, who raised her hand and said, "If we're all going to try this thing, can I be next!"

"...Well, okay?"

Leni followed Lori to the start and pointed at the golf ball. "I already set up the ball, so just pick a golf club and swing," she instructed as the teenager picked a golf club at random. "Even someone as scatterbrained as you should figure out that much."

The teenager prepared to swing with the golf club upside down, and Lori narrowly stopped her before she hit the ball. Leni swung once more and watched up in the sky... while the ball remained in place. "How do I tell when I've won?" Leni asked, still focusing on the sky.

 _-Okay, let's move on...-_

Luan took Leni's place while Lori watched nearby. Both her eyes were now twitching in rhytm.

"So, all I got to do is take a swing?" Luan asked, earning a nod from Lori. "So this is where the term swinger comes from!"

One chuckle later, Luan swung her club and watched. "Fire in the hole! Or should I say ball?" Luan said. "I'll be honest, I didn't come prepared with any golf jokes."

"Hey, you're the one saying it like it was a bad thing," Lori rolled her eyes.

 _-Cue the 4th Wall-I mean hole...-_

It was Luna's turn to play golf, and she came in with a guitar connected to something. By this point Lori's eyes twitched and a vein could visibly be seen in her forehead, ready to burst at any moment.

"What. Are. You. Doing?!" she asked, her finger shaking violently as she pointed at the guitar.

"Golf clubs are so ordinary," Luna eyed the giant speakers to her sides as she got ready to play her instrument. "I'm going to rock this ball into the hole!"

Just as Lori tried to stop the rock girl from playing, she swung her arm and played her guitar once, causing the speakers to release such a loud sound wave that the ground shook and the golf set scrambled to pieces. Once the sounds finished, the ball got off the starting point... right before rolling all the way out of the messed up field.

"Huh, who would have thought that a golf club would've been a better option?" Luna remarked, scratching the back of her head.

But Lori didn't listen. Instead, she looked onward to the golf set and fell to her knees, her rage having reached the breaking point. "You maniac! You messed it up!" Lori whined, slamming her fist into the ground. "Dang you! Dang you all to heck!"

"Why are getting so riled up about it?" Linc said. "It's just a game!"

"Just a game? Just a game!?" Lori pointed at each and snarled. "Take a look at yourselves! Now look at me! I came here to relax, to have a day away from the madness that is our life, but no, you just had to come and ruin it!"

"We didn't mean to do that!" Leni said defensively.

"Oh, what do you know about meaning to do something, Leni?" Lori growled as she approached the shrinking blonde. "You're so stupid, you didn't even know how to grab a golf club correctly. In fact, I bet you're so stupid, you can't even recognize what you and everybody else have done to me today! I bet that for you, this was nothing more than another thing you're going to forget soon, while I'll have to remember it for the rest of my life."

Leni shed tears. "Well, I'm not so stupid that I don't recognize sadness!" she whined before running away.

"Whoa, mate, you made Leni cry!" Luna remarked in disbelief. "Bloody not cool!"

"Bloody not cool? Seriously?" Lori repeated as she turned to give Luna a glare. "Listen, Luna, I don't care if you heard Mick Swagger say it, but british people don't say bloody or mate all the time. Come to think of it, how about a suggestion? Spend less time blasting everybody's ears, and spend more time figuring out how to not insult your idol and Britain in general, with your accent imitation!"

Luna, though shocked, simply took it in and left. "Oh geez, Lori, I know you might be mad, but how about we calm down for a bit?" Luan suggested, obviously unnerved.

"Oh, calm down, you say?" Lori answered as she threateningly approached Luan. "Hey, I got a joke for you: What do you call a desperate, pathetic excuse for a comedian, who couldn't come up with a good joke to save her life?"

The comedian failed to respond.

"Luan Loud!"

Luan shed tears and promptly fled. "Hey, you can't just say all this stuff at your own sisters!" Lynn hissed, coming face-to-face with Lori. "What are you, a bully?"

Lori quickly overpowered the sports fan. "I bet you'd know if I was a bully, Lynn, seeing as you are the biggest bully in the house!" she stated, making Lynn back away in shock. "Forcing your beliefs on everybody else, hurting your siblings like it was nothing, that is what you do 24/7!"

"I-I just do it to mess with them!" Lynn shouted defensively. "I'm just playing with you, I don't mean any harm!"

"Insults, abuse, and humiliation are no playing matter! Those who see them as such are good-for-nothing bullies!" Lori growled, grabbing and lifting Lynn by her shirt's neck. "If that is what you see as "just playing with you," then who is the bully, Lynn? Think about it for a while, 'cause I'm giving you a time-out!"

Lori threw Lynn away and she crashed into a tree, though miraculously she was still able to move after the strike. The sports fan ran away once she got up, and now there was only one siblings left, Lincoln.

"And you!" Lori hissed, pointing at Linc as she approached him and he backed away. "You! You! You!"

Eventually, Linc hit a wall and got nowhere to run... so he watched as Lori shed tears and her voice simply broke. "You, jerk! Why did you have to bring them along?! What made you think I wanted you to come along?! Why, in the name of golf, did you bring them here and allowed them to destroy something that was important to me?"

But Linc couldn't answer.

"Next time you find a note written by me, just... leave it, and me, alone," she instructed, and Linc hastily nodded.

The teenager released the boy and threw away her golf club before walking away. With all that said and done, Linc got up and dusted himself as he tried to think of a way to remedy his mistake.

-Um... Let's check up on Lori...-

The teenager sulked in a bench, crying her heart out as it was basically the only thing she could do at the moment: She no longer had any intention to play golf, she just drove off her sisters and probably her brother as well, and she was most likely going to be in serious trouble when she came back home. Crying as much as she could was pretty much her only option.

But then, Linc arrived and sat down next to her. Not that the teenager minded, she was too busy crying about what had happened.

"So, uh," Linc started, rubbing his arm. "I'm sorry for bringing most of our sisters here-"

"Nothing you can say will make me feel better, Lincoln," Lori stated, catching her brother's attention. "I blew up at our sisters, and the golf I wanted to play was completely derailed. All I can do right now is wait until mom and dad call me and ground me for who knows how long."

Cue the phone call, which Lori hesitantly answered.

"Hello?" Lori greeted.

"Lori, this is your mother," Mrs. Loud said through the other end, sending a shiver up Lori's spine. "Listen, Lynn, Luan, Luna and Leni just arrived here and told us what happened-"

"Mom, before you ground me, let me explain what happened," Lori replied. "You see, I grew stressed thanks to a laundry mishap, don't worry nothing got dirty, and I figured playing some golf would calm me. But then Linc and the rest arrived, and I thought letting them play with me wouldn't be a burden as long as I watched them, but things got derailed and-"

"Lori, I'm not going to ground you," Mrs. Loud interrupted.

Lori was understandably surprised. "...Really? Why?"

"I'll let Luna explain it to you."

So, a couple seconds later, Luna took the call and said, "Hi Lori, Luna here. Apparently, potentially destroying a golf set is a bit more of a serious matter than you making us cry and leaving the house without notifying mom and dad."

"But I left a note explaining where I went at the fridge," Lori replied.

A couple seconds later, Luna answered, "They didn't find anything there."

Lori gave Lincoln an angry look, and she narrowed her eyes after the boy, with a sheepish smile, took out the note itself from his pocket. "Linc took it and forgot to put it back," Lori said.

"Oh, okay, well, now I'm the ground with no music for a couple of days, and Leni, Luan and Lynn are building you a golf set to allow you to relax for once," Luna replied. "So, yeah, mom and dad are hoping that you'll come back soon. And so do we. Please come back, Lori."

And with that, the call ended. Lori hanged her phone and put it back in her pockets as Linc asked, "So, what now?"

"Let's go home, you little sentient mop," Lori replied, giving her brother a noogie.

And, having nothing else to do there, Lori put her hands in her pockets as she and Linc leisurely walked back home. Though they did start to run when the park guards realized they were related to the girl who wrecked the golf set and he begun chasing them.


End file.
